• Life

    Motherhood Unshielded or Unshielded Motherhood?

    The truth is, I did not love my daughter the moment I first saw her. Shockingly brutal statement? Perhaps. But it’s my truth.   You know when everyone around tells you – as an expectant Mother – how much you will fall in love with your baby THE MINUTE you see them and hold them in your arms?  What a load of bollocks. For me anyway, because it didn’t felt like that. Even worse, I felt nothing.   Motherhood did not came easy or naturally for me and the whole world made me feel less of a Mum because of it. For that reason, I carry that burden with me until…

  • ENG,  Life

    Motherhood

    Things have been challenging lately. Diana has finally moved in with me. After a 5 year wait, I finally have my baby back. Adjusting to our new life together hasn’t been without difficulties on both sides. I went from being responsible only for myself to having to adjust to being effectively a “new mother” for the second time to the same child. And not to a new-born, but to a 9-year old on a full-time basis with no family around to help. Diana had to adjust to a different household and a new country.   Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit low and feeling that I’m failing as parent because…