The 21 day challenge

No one wakes up one morning and casually decides to go run a marathon.

 

“See you later babe.”

“Where you off to?”

“Oh, just run a marathon. I’ll be back in time for lunch. See you later.”

“Ok bye babe. Have fun.”

“Love you.”

“Love you.”

 

Does this sound like a completely and utterly ridiculous conversation, not to mention, extremely unlikely?

 

Yes. Yes, it does. And you know why? Because in the realm of things that can actually happen, this, friends, is probably not one of them.

 

You can most certainly wake up one morning and decide that you want to start training to run a marathon, but you don’t simply run one without prior training.

 

You’re probably reading this and thinking “what else is new, genius?”.

 

Well, if you’re not expected to be able to run a Marathon without some serious training beforehand, why isn’t the same principle applicable when people are trying to incorporate life changes, like losing weight or being healthier?

 

They say it takes 21 days to form a habit and I actually tested that theory with my daughter.

 

Last year, when Diana moved in with us from Portugal, there was obviously an adjustment period, which, we were prepared for.

 

Back in Portugal, her school was, what I can only describe as an absolute jungle.

The teachers and school staff had zero control over the kids. In fact, a recent article in the media highlighted how the school in question has only one member of staff available per 84 children.

The numbers are scary. There are 9 assistants to manage 753 students and 61 of these children, have special needs.

As you can imagine, this had an enormous impact on Diana. Both myself and her Dad were at our wits end, to the point that I was looking for private schools and refusing to let her go back to school.

Her stepmom called and emailed relentlessly everyone and anyone she could think of, and by God’s grace, we managed to switch her to another school where she stayed for the following two years.

 

When Diana moved in with us, she had some behaviours that were not acceptable, including being easily irritable and noisy. When she was told off, she would cross her arms and shut down, listening to no one.

 

I started talking to her and trying to understand why she was behaving this way. Was she unhappy? Was someone mean or unkind?

She couldn’t give me a straight answer. She explained she would get upset over something and that was it. No apparent reason.

 

We decided to test the 21 day theory. 

I explained to her what it meant and if she was up for it. She said yes and we started by looking out for clues on why she would get upset and then speak about it.

 

We came up with an action plan. If she started to feel upset, she would excuse herself from class and go to the bathroom or grab some water and breathe.

Her teacher was fully on board and, eventually, we started seeing results.

 

Diana would tell me “Mummy, today is day 17. How am I doing?”

“You’re doing GREAT, baby!” 

I would constantly reinforce how proud and happy I was with her progress and good behaviour.

 

We did several rounds of this 21 day “challenge” and in time, behaviours that we thought as being deeply rooted in her, were now being replaced by the positive work we had been doing together.

It wasn’t easy, there were setbacks and days worse than others, but she’s a kid, not a robot and she was doing the best she could. That was all we asked.

 

I’m telling this story because the same principle is applicable to any goal you have in life.

 

If you want to be healthier, instead of planning a whole week of healthy eating, why don’t you start with one meal?

 

If your goal is going to the gym 3x a week, start by going once and see how you feel after that. 

 

Don’t put so much pressure on yourself.

 

Like the person who decides to run a marathon, maybe you have to start with running 10 yards and then stop. Tomorrow you’ll to 12 but in one month, you might be able to run 50. 

 

You have to be patient and give yourself some grace.

 

Change won’t happen overnight but it will happen if you are kind to yourself.

 

You will reach your goal if you begin with baby steps and set realistic expectations for yourself. 

 

Once you do this, you’ll see that you are able to run as many marathons as you set yourself to do.